Why I don’t co-sleep

Last night I went to the Clocktower Brew Pub in the evening for the first time since Max was born. I had my first Kolsch in almost a year. I almost couldn’t believe it that it had been that long!  We saw our regular waitresses who were amazed that it has been 12 weeks since Max was born. They thought only a month or so had gone by (time does fly). When they gave us the bill, they comp’d our beers to say congrats on having a baby. AWESOME.

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I am currently reading Mayim Bialik’s book on parenting, Beyond the Sling. She talks about ‘Attachment Parenting’, which I do agree with most of views (feeding on demand, baby wearing, non-drug interventions to an extent). The press has gone a bit bananas about her views, especially co-sleeping. She sleeps with both of her boys on a giant mattress on the floor. The general take is that co-sleeping has risks due to the child falling out of bed and SIDS. There are ‘rules’ to co-sleeping though: bed on the floor or really low to the ground, no duvet, no enormous amounts of pillows, no drinking/drugs(?!!) before bedtime, etc. Mayim does pretty much all of that. The benefits are it is easier to breast-feed at night, the obvious closeness/bonding and some say it is easier to tell if baby is distressed because you are right there.

I cannot co-sleep with Max.

I have night terrors from time to time. I’ve yelled funny things out (happened at camp, much to the amusement of my fellow staff and campers), run out of rooms including A HOTEL ROOM (thank goodness my friend was awake), and attacked my pillows/walls/sheets because there were bugs/mice/aliens on them. It almost always happens within an hour of falling asleep and it is in that pre-sleep stage where I am just drifting off. It also only happens at night. It is a bit of a vision thing (I am blind without my glasses). One of the ways I get out of it is to turn lights on. Funny thing is that in this dream like aura, I can see the ‘bad things’ pretty clearly, when in reality there is no way I can see an alien coming at me through the window. I usually think “hey stupid, you can’t see that in real life!” and wake myself up.

Because of this, I decided that Max could not be in our bed at night as I could easily fling him across the room/squish him/scare the bajeezes out of him. I also could not have one of those side-bassinet thingys that attaches to the bed so you can have your space, but baby is still close just in case I made a run for it. Max’s bassinet is at the foot of the bed. The other night it happened: I made a run for it Sunday night. Luckily I did not trip over the bassinet.

It does sadden me a bit that he couldn’t sleep in our bed, as he is super cute when sleeping. But along with the night terrors, I also have a bed of death: pillow-top mattress that is waaaaay too high, duvets and fluffy pillows. I like my bed too much to give that up 🙂

Since P is off school next week, we will be transitioning Max to his crib. He will still be in our room for now. He barely makes a peep and quite honestly I prefer him to be close in case anything happens.

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